Satine's Funeral - Obitine Week Day 2
by just-a-little-star-wars
Summary: Never regret something that once made you smile


Author's Note: I started to write this around a year ago, so if my writing style suddenly changes halfway through that is why. This is also for the Obitine Week day 2, the prompt was regret and this just kind of came to me… so I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: yeah still don't own anything, but I'm trying.

He shouldn't be here. But he had to. For himself. He knew that coming here only further showed how attached he had become to her. No. Attached wasn't the right world. He loved her. But he was too blind to see that. He had never forgotten about her. Every night he would think about what his life would have been like if he were to have left the Jedi order when she asked her all those years ago. They could have had a family, run away from this dreadful war that had hurt so many people, not be the Duchess and the Jedi just Obi-wan and Satine, two people who loved each other without having to hide.

The man slowly descended the ramp from the ship that he borrowed and walked through the once perfect throne room of the women who had fought so hard to keep her world neutral and out of the war, the woman he loved, the woman he couldn't save. The funeral was being held in the large courtyard, surrounded by flowers that had been neglected since her death.

It was here in front of her throne were his heart was re-awaken after seeing her again when he had to pick her up to take her to Coruscant, this is also the spot where his heart shattered into a million pieces, never to be put back together, even though you would never know the turmoil going on inside him if you were to look. It was here, on this spot, where that monster killed her, Darth Maul, the beast that had killed his Master all those years ago on Naboo. That beast so mercilessly plunged his dark saber through her stomach, all because of him, all because he couldn't let go of his attachment to her.

It was all his fault that she died. If she had never met him, never become attached to him, then she would have lived, Darth Maul would never had seeked her out, to get his revenge on him. His stomach started to knot just at the thought of it. He starts to feel light headed and knows that at any moment he's going to break, he hadn't had an opportunity to fully crack yet, not physically at least. He couldn't cry in the Jedi temple or people would start to suspected things. He could feel his legs give way as he remembered her last words, words of love that still echo through his skull. Her last thought was him, a man who could never openly love her back because of the stupid Jedi Code, but that still couldn't stop his heart beating like it was going to fly out of his chest every time he heard her name on the holonet or saw her pictures in the holo magazines. The sad thing is he never got to tell her how much he cared for her, he never told her that he loved her back, that he wanted nothing more than to leave this stupid war behind him, to run away from the fighting and the politics and just be with her, for the rest of their lives.

He didn't care who saw him like this, not even if the whole Jedi council were to walk in the doors behind him and saw him crying on the floor in front of the last duchess's throne, he thoughts were too filled up with the memory of her. He slowly sunk down so that he forehead could touch the floor in-between his knees, it was then that he drew out the only thing that he had left of her, one of her earrings that he made, he placed the cold stone to his lips kissing it as the tears continued to flow. He would keep this earing for ever, by doing this he would remind himself that she is and always will be with him, not in a physical presence, but in the force, all around him. He knew that he should let go of her and all that they had shared. He shouldn't have even had these feelings for her in the first place.

Regret and guilt were starting to edge its way into his heart as he pulled himself together. He would never show it, but that guilt and regret stayed, long after he had left Mandalore.

Author's Note: please leave a review if you have any suggestions on how I can improve my writing or any ideas. Also if any one is a really good beta reader and has time can I get you to beta read some things for me. INTERNET HUGS AND COOKIES FOR ALL!

Bella Out!


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